“Better Than We Found It”

How Everyday Thank Yous and Simple Gestures Make a Lasting Difference

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I’ve been thinking more about gratitude, and it makes perfect sense that this was my late husband Matt’s favorite holiday. Sure, he was a sucker for the turkey, the mashed potatoes, having family all together, and, of course, watching the annual Lion’s game. But it was more than that.

We were about a year into dating when I discovered one of Matt’s remarkable habits. Every Monday morning, like clockwork, he’d pull five blank thank you notes out of his desk at work. Even amid his many responsibilities as a school superintendent, he made time every week to write out the notes. These weren’t boilerplate work emails or professional letters. They were genuine, handwritten thank yous to students, staff or anyone in the community who’d done something a little extra. Just his way of shining a light on others, simply because he cared.

And it didn’t stop there. As the head coach of our son Tynan’s travel baseball team, Matt’s post-game huddles were legendary (to me, anyway). I loved catching snippets of him talking to the boys as I folded up chairs and lugged snacks. With his classic blend of tough love and kindness, he challenged the boys to call out what they did well and where they needed to step up—always balancing grit with encouragement. And the part that truly resonated with me was when he’d finish his talk by reminding the team to clean up the dugout: “Let’s leave it better than we found it, boys.”

That was Matt to his core. Consistently brightening someone’s day with a thoughtful gesture or a gentle reminder to do a little good. Giving back wasn’t just a task to him, it was part of who he was. Matt devoted countless hours to community service, rolling up his sleeves for organized events or quietly assisting someone in need—never seeking recognition. He even volunteered as the announcer at our daughter Emma’s high school soccer games, a role he continued up until a month before he passed—always bringing his trademark energy, heart and humor.

Though I doubt Emma’s soccer team knew much about Matt’s health struggles, they were certainly aware of his character, and the way he’d enthusiastically announce each name or proclaim that “a pack of huskies” were about to come out on the field. A week or two after Matt died, I attended the team’s District semi-final game with my friend. It was difficult to be there cheering the girls on without Matt by my side or hearing him announce. After the game, which they unfortunately lost, Emma and I were in the car, getting ready to leave when I noticed “LLM” written on her wrist in marker. At every game, the team did this with an acronym—usually some sort of competitive abbreviation to fire them up. When I asked her what the latest “tattoo” stood for, she said that one of her teammates came up with it and that it meant “Live Like Matt.”

I really love that motto. It’s simple, clear, and, honestly, exactly what we all need, especially as Thanksgiving rolls around. Matt showed us how to lead with gratitude, how to lift others up and how to leave the world just a bit better than we found it. He wasn’t perfect, but the way he lived taught me, our kids, and everyone lucky enough to know him that real thankfulness isn’t just reserved for the holidays; it’s something you carry with you, every day, in every little act. And for that, I’m truly grateful.